


My Love For You

by Relikt



Category: Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (2013)
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 02:52:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13157706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relikt/pseuds/Relikt
Summary: It was easier this way, wasn’t it? To fall out of love.





	My Love For You

     I loved him.

 

     He came into my life like a hurricane. Suddenly. Absurdly. It made me feel defenseless. I didn’t know what the deal with him, how to deal with him and how he dealt with his unrequited, fragile love. My cousin Daisy was a exquisite, lovely woman who could charm, bewitch anything with her beauty, her lovely whimsical demeanor, like a flower continuously swayed in morning gentle breeze and bloomed radiantly in golden sunshine. And he, even more beautiful with that handsome smile, masculine, bold but ever gentle manner and an air of mystery that attracted me, fell hopelessly in love with her, had chased and upheld his undying love for her since five years ago.

     I knew. I knew he came and befriended me because i was her cousin, his only contact to her beside her close friend Jordan. He invited me to board the hydroplane with him, he took me to lunch in the city, he introduced me to Wolfsheim, his “business partner” in some secret tavern behind a barber shop… All he wanted is just a favor from me, to invite her over, to become the bridge between him and her, even when I already had the knowledge that she was a married woman, a mother of one. And I couldn’t even deny his request when faced with his genuine, delusional love for her after all these years.

     I admired his unyielding hope for happiness. And I wanted him to live in it. He deserved it, all the love and happiness in the world, to eclipse, to erase the mask, the fake facade he had put up to overshadow the trouble, penniless heritage of him in pursuit of her, his eternal obsessional love. I kept seeing his broaden smile, his dimples of cheeks, the ever sparkling light in those sharp, passionate, hopeful eyes of his whenever he mentioned her, talked ‘bout her and asked for a favor in regard of her. He was a beacon of golden light, ever illuminated my dark, boring world, ever shined through the lingering fog of midnight coast, ever brightly transcended the sickly alluring pale green light, the vain symbol of her affection.

     And I watched him from afar. He had eyes only for her. His back was the only thing I could see. How it hurt to love someone. How my heart was falling apart. How my soul slowly drifted away. Did you know how you had captured my heart? Did you know how my entire existence drew toward you? Did you know you are my sun, my bearer of love? Did you know I would gladly give my life to you? Did you know I hated you for making me feel this way, ever stayed on the borderline of love and despair, of completeness and vacuity? How I despised you. Cursed these disgusted emotions… Jealousy, Hatred, Blinded Desire,… And I had broken wholeheartedly…

 

     I hated you.

 

     It was easier this way, wasn’t it? To fall out of love. To escape the unfairness of the world. To escape from the hollow of the soul. To retain my sanity. To relinquish these conflicted emotions. To leave everything behind. So I should go, away from this blasted painful place. To make it a fragment of my memories, forever kept hidden away under the barricade of false smiles and confidence. ‘It will be fine, it’s better this way’ I kept telling myself that, over and over and over. Then why my tears were rolling on my cheeks. What was this throb presented in my heart? I could only stare at you, through the lines of tree. I could only choke on my breath, hold my delicate heart in my hands. I could only look at you holding her close, head on shoulder, whispering the promise of love. God, just took me away, into your unconditional hold of affection, to fill my heart, to deliver my soul into another person, into another life and have a second chance of love.

 

     Goodbye Jay. I was going to leave with my broken heart. I had packed things up. I had prepared to leave you behind. I could finally have an ease of breath. I could finally start to forget you. Oh, if there was another chance, I would tell how you make my world lit up in the presence of you, how my body ached for your touch, how my heart drew toward you, how I love you… Maybe you would stop loving her, maybe you could love me instead. Hah, just a delusional hope of a man that had given up. You had your dream and ambition. I had my fantasy and yearning. Seemed fair enough.

 

     Farewell, Jay. I will always love you.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This's solely based on the movie. I think it's a little bit rushed.  
> This should be a 2 chapters fic. I'm thinking about writing the second one with Gatsby's POV.  
> About the hate part of this fic, i can't think of anything, so yeah...  
> Criticism is welcomed.  
> Thank you for reading!


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